hey, I forgot I had this accountposted Jan 25th 2010, 9:03AM
Mood:
First, I would like to say why I am making this journal; 'BUT TELL US WHY YOU WERE GONEEE!!!!' chill out, I'm gonna get there.
I couldn't contact you guys (well, via dA i could, because of my other account, but I didn't wanted to get suspicious or anything, because I'm gonna use it only AFTER i submit some art, and yes, I'm gonna get to that deactivation (sp?) thing too.) because I havent found you on iS, the only persons I've spoken to so far where Jade and Sara (thought I still havent told Sara why I was gone) soo, since I figured that most of you have a Sheezy Art account, I decided to make this journal... ah, don't know if you still use it, but still, I REALLY wish you guys would read that.
Okay, so why was I gone? I believe most of you remenber when I 'came back' as xRainbowStorm, right? But most important, you do remenber when I said something like 'I should take a break from dA', after I got banned for the second time? Well, yes. That break was really good for me, it helped me grown... somehow. So, anyway, when I 'came back' I felt like... how do I put this... like I wasn't being myself, like if I was being someone else. I know it is not as hard as it was for Jade, but it was really hard for me. So I decided to take another break, but not just a dA break, a break of everything. and that included you guys.
I know, and I realize how much selfish it was. And I felt guilty, specially when Jade told me she cried about it for months, and I felt really bad I hurted someone like that over the silliest thing, and I thought you guys felt that way too, that you missed me. But the thing is, at first I thought you guys wouldn't even notice I was gone!
Anyway, I was eventually going to come back, but I thought that coming back as xRainbowStorm would make like an akward situation, so I made another account, named 'xjustpushplay' (lolaerosmithreference). I only faved some stuff later on, and filled my profile with a few things, but never lurked around or anything.
A few days ago, like, 5 days before I spoke with Jade again on MSN, I thought it would be silly to use the other account, so I've decided to use my xRainbowStorm account again, but when I logged in I saw a '!' and thought I was banned, but then it said (I'm gonna copy-paste to you guys)'You have deactivated their account with a reason of "Would prefer a new username".'.
I was very confused, and thought of the possibility that someone hacked me, so if it was any of you, just say it.
And no, I didn't know about this deactivating possibility, I wouldn't even know how to do it anyway.
I really wish I could tell that to each one of you in particular, but I figured this would be the easiest way.
Also, I would understand if none of you forgive me. I just want you to know that I've missed you guys as well... and that I'm really and trully sorry for what I did.
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